Somatic Intimacy Coaching is based on the Somatica modality, together with my experience as a tantra bodyworker, massage therapist and chemical engineer.
This coaching is for you that are looking for a new way of relating. It could be who you chose to date, how you handle things like conflict, disagreements, disappointment or becoming aware of what baggage you are bring in to or has built up in any relationship.
We will explore:
– Mindfulness practices like breathwork, meditation, visualization and embodiment practices.
– Connection and relating, both with yourself and with others, either if you come as a couple then with each other or if you come by yourself you will practice with me as a partner. These could be things like eye gazing, exploring qualities of touch, boundary setting and asking for consent.
– Sexuality will be about figuring out your turn-ons, core desires, what is on your sexual menu, practicing asking for what you want and also working through the potential grief of disappointment when your needs are unable to be met or accepted by your partner or the world.
– Most practices can be done online, some exercises will have movement so choose clothes that are comfortable or make you feel good. Every session we ill work fully clothed.
Most coaching is based on an old mindset which saw the body and mind as separate things and focused on changing the mind through conversation. Through processing my own trauma and having a trauma release bodywork practice I got first hand experience how grief and trauma can be stored in the body. This is now being backed up by the latest psychological research around trauma which is showing us what yogis and other Eastern teachers and healers have known for centuries – that trauma and other life experiences are stored in the body, and that the mind and body are connected!
In my practice, I coach experientially. Experiential learning is a combination of learning in both intellectual and practice-based dimension.
Think about it this way: as a lifetime partner dancer and dance teacher, I know I can learn movement or dancing to some level from books or just talking if I have basic knowledge. I also know that I learn so much more if I have someone to teach me, someone who can tell me how to do the steps. However, the quickest and deepest learning is if the teacher dances with me, letting me experience how it feels when it’s done gracefully, letting me practice with them, and giving me feedback. With a one-on-one teacher, they can individualize the teaching so it is focused on exactly what I need to know, hear, and feel, not just the general information you can find everywhere. This is the difference between experiential somatic coaching compared to the general verbal coaching.
Trauma is a popular word right now, especially in certain circles. I believe it is important to have at least the basics when you do this work. I call myself “Being trauma informed” which means I’m not saying I’m an expert around trauma but it means I have done courses, read books and worked on my own traumas to recognise some trauma reaction, having access to a emotional “first aid”-trauma knowledge. I also refer people with deep trauma to other types of support systems like a trauma therapist either to take over for now or to complement the work we are doing together.
Somatic Intimacy Coaching takes part of it’s name from the somatic nervous system. As an engineer hearing people talking about accessing and reprograming their nervous systems made me feel skeptical at first because no one could actually tell me the science on how to do that.
Now I know more and have put together a nerdy blogpost on how the different areas of the nervous system are connected and what we can do to reprogram automatic responses and promote self-regulation, increase pleasure and why crying can be so helpful and healing.